Journies with Girls

Bliss, Anxious, Excited, and Nervous

2010-02-19T13:02:00.000-06:00

For any of my FaceBook friends, you will see my status says, “anxious, excited, and nervous.” There are some responses from close family members cheering me on my new endeavor. I am confident that I will do a good job, but change always brings me a myriad of emotions.
I think I can add a positive emotion to the list. That is bliss. Bliss combined with excitement. This morning my inbox greeted me with an e-mail from my future boss. He said he is looks forward to working with me. He feels that I will be valuable to the organization. It made me so happy and excited to read such kind words about myself. My self esteem was pretty shattered when I left my last job. I feel that this job will have the reverse affect. After being in industry awhile, I think this change will be good for the future of my career.
I am anxious and nervous about the changes we are going through. Because, there is so many loose ends here Chris and the girls will stay here to tie them up. I will stay at my mom’s and commute in the meantime. We will see each other on the weekends. I can’t wait to be settled in. I really don’t like living in limbo from week to week. I am also nervous about not living up to my new company’s expectations. I hate letting people down.
I will miss dropping Meadow off at school. I dropped her off for the last time today. I love looking at the bulletin boards filled with projects. Right now they have one that says, “I have a gold medal in…” Each child made a gold medal that says what they are good at. Meadow’s says, “Helping Mommy”. It makes me melt. The other bulletin board has hearts on with why Jesus loves them. Meadow’s says, “Jesus loves me, because I am me, Meadow.” The teachers keep telling me how much they like having her in class, because she is so sweet. This morning really hit me hard with realizing I won’t get to see what Meadow accomplishes. She is so proud of the work she does in school.
I will also miss snuggling in bed with Lily in the mornings and her general goofiness. Today, she is walking around talking in her pirate voice.
Don’t worry, I will miss Chris too. I hate being away from him just as much as I hate being away from the girls.
There are many positives to this job. First, we will be able to live more comfortably. We will be closer to our family. I will feel comfortable finding someone to watch the girls so Chris and I can go on dates more often….

Getting to know me

2010-02-17T17:07:00.002-06:00

Candace over at Twiggie makes had a Tuesday Top 10 Getting to Know You. Here are my answers:
Top Ten: Getting to know YOU!
1) What would you call yourself if you could choose your own name? I am not sure. When I was younger I hated my name, and my mom said I could go by my middle name. I never have.

2) What was your worst date (as in going out on a date, not an actual calendar date…unless you have a really bad one to share)? I went on a date with a guy to Applebees. He told me his spending limit as we were looking over the menu, and I didn't have money with to pay for myself...

3) If you had to teach one subject in high school or college, what would it be? Family and Consumer Ed

4) When was the last time you laughed so hard you cried? I can’t remember. I can remember about an hour ago, I laughed so hard it hurt.

5) What is the kindest thing anyone has ever done for you? Listen when I had a problem.

6) If money or skill-set was no issue, what would you love to do for a living? Fashion design

7) What is one thing as an adult/parent/spouse you do that you swore you would never do? Leave my kids act up in public.

8) If you could go back to one particular time in your life (not to live, not to change anything, just to visit) when would it be? College

9) If your walls could talk, what would they say about you (good & bad)? I am a caring individual and lack patience.

10) If you could fix or put an end to one problem in the world what would it be? War

Turning down a new path

2010-02-17T10:45:00.000-06:00

I am consumed by positive and negative emotions. I am on a path to bettering myself, my family, and hopefully our quality of life. I don’t have too many more days before I leave, and start the journey alone.
We are relocating for my job. I found it through careerbuilder.com. When I read it I thought it was too good to be true. 1. It was in my field of study. 2. The company is closer to our families. 3. The pay is more than I was getting at my last job. 4. They needed someone ASAP.
The job isn’t what I have been doing for the past 6+ years, but it does interest me. After feeling like a failure in my last job, maybe it is time for a minor career change. I like to learn and grow. I hate feeling stagnant. Slightly off topic, but do have you ever felt stagnant somewhere even though you were still growing? Almost like you knew the ceiling wasn’t far away? In my situation, I felt like no matter what I did, it would be near impossible to break through the ceiling and move onto the next level.
It is difficult to muster up any motivation to pack, clean, and prepare. I find myself trying to spend time with my family or doing stuff to put off the inevitable. This morning I spent a good 15 minutes babying Lily…I am sure she didn’t mind at all.
This brings me onto another topic. Everything has happened so quickly, I am not quite sure how I feel living within an hour of where I grew up. I always thought it was a good place to be from…far from. In reality it is a great place to raise a family. I feel that way about this state in general. The education system is good. What if my family members don’t like it? I want the girls to have more opportunity than I did…I hope they get it. DH says he will like it, but I am not confident he will. I am not sure how much of my family he can take. Hopefully we can find a good balance.
I feel like I will fit in great with the company, but I feel insecure about their opinions of me. They seemed so welcoming when I was there. I just want them to like me, and for me to not let them down.
Maybe, I keep trying to think negative thoughts, because everything has worked out so seamlessly this far. There are a bunch of things that aren’t so smooth – but the interview process was too smooth…

Melting my heart in the coldest season

2010-02-02T18:11:00.000-06:00

My daughters have come to an age where they make me melt. It does not matter how cold it is outside, they say and do things that spread warmth.
The other day, I was making breakfast. Meadow was in the kitchen watching me. It is one of her favorite activities – watching me cook. Anyway, she says, “I like Lily. Lily is my best friend.” How could that not get to my heart? Seeing my two girls at such young ages already considering each other their best friend (Okay, so Lil wasn’t so quick or forthright to say her big sister is her best friend). She may not say it, but she shows it in other ways.
It is so nice to be home with the girls right now. I get like an extra 9 hours of one on one time with Lily a week while Meadow is at preschool. Lily enjoys the opportunity to be just her and me. I feel so bad that the 2nd (3rd, 4th, and so on) child doesn’t get the time to be the center of attention – the parents only focus of attention. I feel that preschool is definitely making that up for Lily. Preschool is uncertain for Lil. I would love to put her in a program, but as long as our futures are uncertain so will preschool.

Lily does know how to make me melt. She will wrap her arms around my neck with all her strength. At least I think she is using all of her strength. She pulls my ear next to her head and says, “I love you, Mommy.” I don’t think there is anything more precious than hearing your toddler tell you that they love you. I could sit all day and listen to her talk. Her telling me she loves me is her key to anything she wants – within reason.

It cracks me up when I ask Meadow to do something she doesn’t want to do she will say, “No, thank you.” I am glad she has manners, but that is really not the response I am looking for. When I ask her to clean up and she is willing she says, “Music helps me.” Lily will say “Okay, “ or “Sure”. But it is rare that Lily is willing to help pick up.

Beating Myself Up

2010-02-01T19:21:00.002-06:00

This isn't intended to be a pity post. I just need to blow off some steam, because I am really upset with myself. Well maybe not really upset, but just upset.

I am mad that I am feeling so many negative feelings lately. I feel if I get them out then I will feel better:)

Part of it is about finding a job. I feel so inadequate. The economy isn't great, and I am not sure that I have what it takes to set myself apart from the other applicants in the pile. I had an awesome phone interview last week. They called me back within an hour to set up the second interview. I was on cloud 9 for awhile. I don't want to get my hopes up and have them smashed. This is a job in the same industry - but it isn't a job I have done before. It is not on the career path I set forth for myself. It is a great opportunity. So great it is perfect. Too perfect, because it would put my closer to where I grew up. I get to diversify my career and be close to family all at the same time.

Today, I got a call from the HR dept from another company I applied at months ago. Unfortunately, I was in the shower, but she did leave a message. I called her back when it was a better time for me. She did not answer, so I left a message. Then, I found out she also called a friend of mine. My friend told me of the updates to the job, and has a phone interview scheduled. I am still waiting for this person to call me back. Now is where the negative feelings come in. I know what my friend has to offer. I know what I have to offer, but now I am sitting here wondering how we measure up. Friend, if you are reading this - there are no hard feelings towards you. I think you need to go for this opportunity and everyone that is presented to you. Back to me - I feel inadequate without even talking to the HR person. I really don't know why. Maybe it is because when they initially posted the job they had certain standards, and I am aware they are lowering the standards. I feel competitious and inadequate all at once here. If this opportunity worked out for me, we wouldn't have to move.

Not, that you need to continue to read about my shortcomings, but there is one more thing that is bothering me. This is something I can fix. If I can get in the correct mindset - this problem will go away. It is 100% mental. I cannot lose weight. I see small successes and then I am back to where I started. I am so lazy about weight loss. For the most part I eat pretty good. It is the getting up and getting moving part I need to do. I can do it, and I know it. I just have no desire to do it. As I am writing this, I am thinking of all the things I did to lose 10 pounds a year ago. So, now I just have to do it. Although, one of the things is a six week commitment and comes at a price...I need to figure out how to make that work.

I can relate to these

2010-02-01T09:46:00.001-06:00

My MIL sent this to me today. I had to share, because I could relate to too many.

1) Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.
2) I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.
3) There is a great need for sarcasm font.
4) How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?
5) I would rather try to carry 10 plastic grocery bags in each hand than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in.
6) MapQuest really needs to start their directions on #5. Pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.
7) Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.
8) I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.
9) Bad decisions make good stories
10) You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you've made up your mind that you just aren't doing anything productive for the rest of the day.
11) I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten page research paper that I swear I did not make any changes to.
12) I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello? Damnit!), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voicemail. What'd you do after I didn't answer? Drop the phone and run away?
13) I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.
14) As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
15) I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.
16) I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lites than Kay.

Pound For Pound Challenge Widget

2009-01-12T20:06:00.001-06:00

Self Disappointment

2008-11-14T18:59:00.002-06:00

I always figured it wasn't as bad to disappoint yourself as it is others. How come the disappointment I have caused myself is causing me so much pain? I can't look at myself, and I don't want to be me.

For weeks (and by weeks I mean months) I have tried to lose weight by eating better and exercise. It has gotten me no where. I go in for my physical. I think my thyroid is causing my body to hold onto fat. Nope, everything is normal. I don't know what normal is. I asked for them to send me the results. I should get them soon. He told the nurse to encourage me to exercise 20 minutes a day! Are you serious...20 minutes each day? That is all? That does not seem at all adequate to me.

The other part of the disappointment is he only did one of the four thyroid tests. I don't think that is sufficient. How do I advocate for myself to get the rest done when they don't think the rest are necessary, because this came in range?

I don't know what to do. I feel like I have been doing something wrong all a long. And now with winter here, exercise is going to get less attractive. I just can't believe I haven't gotten this right yet.

FINALLY!!!

2008-10-06T19:37:00.001-06:00

Lily is finally walking. She still crawls around obstacles, but she can and will walk across a room. I am so excited for her! Woot Woot! Go Lily.

I will attempt to take a video of her, as it is so cute to watch her wobble as she walks.

P.T.

2008-09-17T21:14:00.002-06:00

P.T. does not mean Physical Therapy or Part Time...it means Potty Training

DCP got a potty for the 3 kids over 3. She has them lined up in the kitchen area. Two days ago Meadow was the only one of the three to go potty. She got chocolate. Today Wendy put underwear on all three. Meadow had a little poop in her underwear this afternoon, and Wendy got her on the potty and she finished. The only time today she had a diaper on was during naptime. She got lots of chocolate today. I am so proud!

She went potty when we got home. Then she had an accident outside with CHris and wanted to put a diaper on. I tried to encourage her to put underwear back on.

She can't walk yet, but...

2008-09-01T22:21:00.003-06:00

She can climb onto the coffee table!

2-3-5!

2008-09-01T20:55:00.001-06:00

Last night the girls were taking a bath. When they were done, Meadowput all the toys away. As she puts them into the mesh bag, we countthem. She would put one in and I would say, "one". Then she wouldput the next three in saying, "two, three, five!" I told Chris whatshe did and so he was trying to get her to do one and four, but sheinsists on skipping over four. When we say four she looks at us likewe have three heads.

I guess the number of the day is two. I just tried counting with herand after every number I say she says two.

L&M Milestones

2008-08-30T23:24:00.002-06:00

On August 16th, at her birthday party, Lily took her first step unassisted. We were opening presents when it happened. She was trying to go from me to a new toy! She took one step and realized she wasn't holding onto anything, then quick sat down.

She keeps doing this...or she will stand unassisted for several minutes and not walk. I am starting to get frustrated.

Meadow has started dressing and undressing herself. She has no problem putting bottoms on herself. Yesterday when she woke up from her nap, she had pulled a 3T shirt up around her waist. I have such a goofy girl!

Dear Lily

2008-08-25T20:59:00.005-06:00

Dear Lily,
I feel so horrible I didn't have this ready on your birthday, and at the same time I am glad I waited. I don't feel rushed. I don't feel like I am going to forget anything important ;)

I love you so much. I love how in the first months of your life I was the only person you wanted to be with. I enjoyed watching you fall asleep nursing and your involuntery movements in your sleep. I loved whe you would look up at me with a mouthful of milk, smile, and it would all come out. I loved how snuggly you were whie you were nursing or sleeping. You good get as close to me as you could. I would not change it for anything!

You are so layed back and goofy. Your personality develops more and more everyday. You like to explore all the toys and figure them out. I love watching you try to figure our how things work. It is so easy to make you laugh. Just making a goofy face does it for you :)

I love how your first word was "Mamma." And, I feel bad that you didn't bond with dad right away. It took months for you to like dad. You figured you could like him, once he could start feeding you. You sometimes will go to him before me when you want something fills my heart with warmth.

Love,Mom

Lil' Lily, Lil' Peanut

2008-08-25T20:17:00.002-06:00

It has been a year already. I haven't written my letter to Lily yet. Bad me. She is truly a peanut. We went to the zoo this week end and some one didn't believe me that she was a year. She is so tiny, and the nurse confirmed it today - 18 pounds 4 ounces, 28 1/4". The doctor said she is doing fine, and we are good parents - keep doing what you're doing! That is such a big compliment. I will have to write Lil's letter next.

H-lites from the party

2008-07-13T15:34:00.003-06:00

The party girl waiting for the arrival of her friends...

The cake with floating teddy grahams
Opening presents
Meadow thinks...just let me eat the cake!
" Mmmmm cake!" says the pretty birthday princess thinks

Happy 2 years!

2008-07-12T10:43:00.003-06:00

Dear Meadow,

Today, you have been 2 for 4 days.

The past few months you have had a word explosion and started to experience more emotions. Sometimes, you get frustrated trying to express these emotions. Other times you get frustrated because we don't understand what you are trying to say. Both instances result in tantrums. Always remember, no matter how frustrated we get with each other - I still love you.

In the past two years I have learned to love and laugh like never before. I have experienced the worst heart ache when you are upset with me. Yet my love for you still grows. I have laughed so hard, because of something you did or said, and my love for you continues to grow. There are too many times to count where I think of you doing something goofy and laugh to myself.

You amaze me everyday with what you know and say. I love watching you figure things out and how the world around you works. Your fearless curiosity is astounding. You keep me wondering what you are going to do next. I often wonder if I will be prepared for your next milestone.

I look forward to spending many more years with you, Monkey!

Love, Momma

A lot going on...

2008-07-06T19:27:00.005-06:00

If it hasn't been noticed by the amount of posts I have made recently, we have a lot going on. I feel like we are always on the move.

DH - is planning on going back to school.

If that isn't stressful enough, his grandfather recently passed away. He has been having a hard time dealing with it.

Meadow - her vocabulary is exploding. Today she said, "stinky." It was hilarious. But then again she smelled her feet and said it.

Her strength amazes me...

She is in the tantrum phase. She gets frustrated and throws her arms, and slaps something (usually the table). Then she will start to pout which leads to full on crying.

For her birthday she got a swing set. It is for her and Lily. Meadow loves it and her favorite part is the slide. She has thrown a tantrum in the morning to play on it on our way to daycare.

Meadow is a good big sister. She always says, "Lily!" when she sees Lily after waking up for the day or from a nap. It is so cute.

She definately has a mind of her own.

Lily - is officially crawling. She can pull herself to a stand. When she is upset she will crawl to me and say, "Mamma, Mamma, Mamma." It just breaks my heart. It makes me happy that her first word was, "Mama." She says Daddy too. Meadow's first word was, "Daddy," so it is only right Lil says, "Mama."

Lily is also eating solids. She loves to eat. She can't get enough food ever. She will eat her food and then try to steal off of Meadow's plate. Last month she officially weaned from breastfeeding. It was a tough decision, but things are so much better for me. She was biting at every session. We made it 10 months which is 6 months longer than Meadow.

She has also warmed up to her daddy more. I think it is because he can feed her a bottle. She isn't relying on me as her only food source. She will crawl to him when she wants to be entertained.

Oh, and she has developed personal space against Meadow. If Meadow gets too close she will scream. You would think Meadow is hurting her!

Tooth count is 6.

Me - I am still struggling with work. I am sick of dealing with jerks who are stuck on titles and not willing to help people learn.

I missed my class reunion. I am disappointed, because I didn't get an invite. I found out about it 1 week before on Myspace. I guess it gives me 5 years to get into shape and look smoking hot!

I am really having a hard time mustering up motivation or ambition to get fit. I lost some weight and gained it back. I wish I could stick with it. I really need a huge kick in the butt! Today I created a poster for motivation. Let's see how it works. Any tips? I just need to get in the routine of working out...

Meadow just climbed out of her crib again. The last time she crawled out, I put the couch cushions around her crib. Tonight I put them away since she hasn't attempted to do it...and sure enough she climbes out...

What a Couple of Weeks

2008-06-01T21:36:00.002-06:00

Wow, so Lily has really taken off. She is really crawling. She sits on her own, and got her fourth tooth last week end. She started pulling herself up. Last week end we were on vacation with my in-laws and she pulled herself to a stand there. We also helped her walk a bit. I can't believe how fast she has taken off. I remember thinking that at this age Meadow was already walking.

Lily is also imitating sounds. Meadow's favorite word is, "Daddy." Lily is now making the "d" sound. I am afriad her first word is going to be Daddy. I think it would be nice if she said Momma first. Especially since I seem to be her favorite person.

Meadow's vocab has also exploded. She is a sponge. Last week end she started saying "Amma,", "Annee", "Kisses," I could go on and on. I should write a list of what she can say. BTW Amma is Gramma, and Annee is Andy.

She also learned about the water slide thanks to Uncle Andy.

Quik Update

2008-05-13T21:47:00.004-06:00

Hey Family and Friends,

Days have gotten by me. I keep saying that I am going to post tomorrow...

Sunday I noticed Lily's third tooth.

While grocery shopping on Sunday Meadow grabbed her own bunch of bananas. They were better than the ones her daddy picked out. She sure loves bananas.

I will leave you with two pictures from the zoo on Saturday. Special thanks to Kati for getting me out of the house.

For those of you who know Meadow - you know who is in the last picture. This is definately going in the scrapbook

About Lily Pad

2008-04-18T22:24:00.002-06:00

She has her second tooth. She is biting now. I think she thinks it is funny when she bites while nursing. It has gotten to the point to where I can predict when it will happen. She will grin then bite. I never made it this far with Meadow.

She can also pull herself up from laying down to a sit position then onto whatever gets her attention next. She will crawl wherever she needs to go. Last night Chris said she crawled into the kitchen and was looking around the pantry to see where Meadow and he were. She doesn't like being in a room alone.

Lily is also getting better about spending time with Chris. I have been putting in a lot of hours at work. She has been stuck with him :P He said she wouldn't start crying until I walked in the door!

OMG, I can't believe I forgot to post this!

2008-04-02T22:00:00.002-06:00

This week end we went to my IL's. We were consistently putting Meadow on the potty, but she wouldn't go. On Sunday (3/31) I sat her there, and had to run to Lily. I gave her a book to read in the meantime. She was letting me know that she was done. I took her off the potty, and noticed a turd in the toilet! I was so proud of her.

I told her good job, but she seemed unphased. Whether or not she knows what she did it is still a pretty big step in my book!

Guess what Lily has!?

2008-03-28T21:17:00.002-06:00

Yesterday, Lily got her first tooth! For the past week she kept waking up several times during the night, and having a problem going back to sleep. I thought maybe she was reverse cycling. It turns out that she really just wanted to comfort nurse. She wasn't really fussy or anything, she just wanted me. I am so glad that she comes to me for comfort.

My baby is growing so fast. Tonight, I saw her really cruise across the floor! I just can't believe it. I wish I had more opportunity to treasure every minute. Before I know it she is going to catch up to Meadow.

Tomorrow we start swimming lessons. Both girls are signed up for the same class. It is with a new instructor, and she teaches differently. I heard good things about her.

She did it again

2008-03-24T20:15:00.004-06:00

Tonight, Meadow came up to me squatting and grabbing her crotch. I asked her if she had to go potty and she ran to the gate. I took her into the bathroom and took her diaper off. She sat on the potty. After a bit she peed again. I will have to talk to the sitter about potty training more aggressively.

Milestones for Meadow

2008-03-23T19:56:00.003-06:00

Earlier today, Meadow took off her diaper. I explained to her that if she is going to keep taking her diaper off she is going to have to wear panties and go on potty on the potty. I took her into the bathroom. Took apart the potty seat, and snapped the seat onto the toilet. I set her on it for a few minutes, and nothing.

Last night she had a bath, and tonight was Lily's turn for a bath. Meadow followed me it, put the potty seat on toilet, and started taking off her clothes. I snapped the potty in place and helped her take her pants and diaper off. I put her on the toilet. She sat for a minute. I asked her if she wanted a book, so I went to get her one. As I was coming back into the bathroom I heard her going. I called Chris in and he gave her a high five. She was really proud of herself.

She insisted on joining her sister in the bathtub. I thought why not, and put her in the tub. She and Lily had a good time splashing eachother and seeing who could make the biggest splash. Chris helped me get the girls dried off. I came into the living room, got Meadow a diaper, handed it to her, and went to get Lily a diaper. When I walked passed her I noticed she was squatting and pooping on the living room floor!

Ouie

2008-03-17T20:48:00.002-06:00

Meadow has had diarhea all week end. With it, she also got a bad diaper rash. I stayed home with the girls today, because Meadow wasn't better. Today I would catch her holding her belly. I got her butt to start clearing up. I was alternating between Lotrimin cream and desitin.

Anyway, later in the day she came up to me, and said, "Ouie."

I looked at her and said, "What is ouie?"

She bonked me on the forehead with her hand, and said, "ouie."

Growing up before my eyes

2008-02-19T23:17:00.005-06:00

Candace, thanks for the comment about Meadow's fingers. Her fingers have healed fine. As a matter of fact, the little monkey keeps going back to the source of her pain. Chris think she is trying to seek revenge.

When I was initially trying to clean her up, I told her that she had to hold her hand up (above her shoulder). I explained that it would help it stop bleeding and heal. The next morning it started bleeding again, so we went through the same process. I held her hand above her shoulder, and explained again why I was having her hold her hand up. Then, I noticed whenever it was bothering her she would hold her hand up.

Lily is eating solids now. You probably figured that out from the slideshow I posted the other day. She is such a little piggy. Last week at daycare she ate a whole jar of baby food on Monday, 1/2 a jar on Tuesday, 1 1/2 jars on Wednesday, 1 jar on Thursday, and 1 jar on Friday.

I am definately going to have problems keeping up with this girl. She is getting more mobile everyday. She is so determined to get to wherever she wants to go by wriggling, rolling, or inchworming around. She has managed to crawl across the living room towards the kitchen to get to me.

She has been sleeping in her own room for a week. Her bed must be real cozy, because I am having problems waking her up in the morning. If she wakes up in the middle of the night we get to cuddle on the couch. I won't give that up for anything. I love my cuddle bug. She loves to cuddle, and I love every minute of it.

Meadow's vocabulary has really exploded lately. Last night she said two new words in 5 minutes. First, we were watching Eight Below. One of the dogs on the movie looks just like Miischka. I said to her, "Meadow doesn't that puppy look just like Miischka?"

She looked at the TV, and said, "Meese-ka" I am sure the sch sound is difficult for her to say.

Then, she eyed up the Goldfish crackers we keep readily available for a snack. She pointed to them and says, "Gofish".

Slideshow of the girls

2008-02-17T19:30:00.003-06:00

I need to update more

2008-02-01T22:41:00.000-06:00

I keep meaning...like for the past week or so that Lily is CRAWLING. It is army style, but she is still mobile. She will get up on her elbows and knees and lurch forward. I can't believe she is mobile at 5 1/2 months. Mainly she will just crawl to me...she knows her food source. Otherwise she is a normal roly poly.

Cute Pic of Meadow and Sad Story

2008-01-25T22:36:00.000-06:00

See my cute little girl? Don't you love the outfit she is in? Check out Puppy and her two fingers in her mouth. That is her natural pose.

Now for the sad story. Wednesday night she crawled under the computer desk (she knows it is off limits). I told her to get out, and I was nursing Lily. I heard her scream. I looked down and she had her fingers stuck in the CPU. There is a door that opens and somehow you can another drive or something. Anyway, I told her to stay still. I put Lily down on the floor, and in that time she yanked her hand out. her index and ring finger are bruised and she took a big chunk out of her middle finger. It bled a lot. I think it still hurts her a bit. She has gotten over it. I haven't. I feel so bad. I wish the computer wasn't in the living room, so she wouldn't be tempted to play with it.

Lil' Lil's First Meal

2008-01-25T22:10:00.000-06:00

HMMM Mom what is this stuff?
You say it is Rice Cereal with formula? I will enthusiastically give it a try!
Let me see how this eating thing works...
What?! I am not supposed to get the food all over my face?
I tried to give Lily cereal on Sunday. She did really well with the eating. She took the spoon really well and enthusiastically. She ate most of what was in the bowl. Afterwards she spit up small amounts through out the evening. I haven't tried it since, but will again this week end.

4 month well baby

2008-01-04T23:03:00.001-06:00

Took her in for her four month check up today. The dr didn't beleive that she is four months old already. I was even late in taking her...its almost 5. Today she weighed 12 pounds and measured 22 1/4" long. I don't think she was measured right though. She was 22" in October. I think she has grown more than that. I will have to try to measure her tomorrow. Her head is 40cm. She is in the 25th percentile for all three categories. The doctor think she is doing fine. I learned today that your body decides what type of belly button you have. Lily's belly button looked funny to me, so I asked the dr to take a look at it. He said her body is just figuring out if it is going to be an inny or an outie. It looks irritated though...but he said it is fine. Leave it alone and it will work itself out.

B 4 I 4Get

2008-01-01T14:25:00.000-06:00

In the month of December Lily started rolling over. She is such a Roly Poly now. She can go both ways with out a lot of effort. She is also "talking" a lot. Especially if you are looking at her. She will smile at you if you smile at her. It is true that smiling is contagious with her.

Last week the girls where at the back up center. There was a back-to-work baby there who is very spoiled. She would scream if no one is paying attention to her. Needless to say Lily has started screaming just like the other baby.

I thought it would be bad if Meadow learned the word, "mine." But she only uses it when she wants something she doesn't know the word for. It isn't like she is constantly saying, "mine, mine, mine." Actually it sounds more like "my". I can handle the "my"s much better than Lily's screaming.

Yesterday Chris was sleeping on the couch. Meadow kept trying to stick a pacifier in his mouth. It was so funny. Chris didn't even react.

Is this a milestone?

2007-12-31T10:23:00.000-06:00

So, Meadow has learned how to keep her room clean. It has looked great for days! Would you like to know how a 17 month old keeps her room clean? You must think this is a real good secret...well, it is not...she just moved the mess to the living room!

Chris cleaned her room and put all her stuffed animals on her shelf. All the toys from Christmas are in the living room. We really need to come up with a better storage solution!

Slideshow

2007-11-01T21:22:00.000-06:00

Snuggly Poohs

2007-10-20T20:06:00.000-06:00

Last night Lily would fall asleep when I nursed her. As soon as I put her down she woke up again. IT was going on midnight. I desperately wanted sleep. I brought her in bed next with me. I snuggled her close. I kept a breast easily accessable for her to nurse when she needed too. Everytime Chris moved I woke to make sure he didn't roll onto Lily.

Sometime between 5 and 6 he got up. I was able to get a couple hours of good sleep then. When I finally felt like I had enough rest I noticed Lily was cuddled real close to me. I felt really at peace with that. It was nice to know that she just really wanted to be by momma after she had a bad day of getting shots.

Through out today I cuddled with her. She still wasn't feeling well. This morning she vommitted. Actually this afternoon too. I took her temp, and it was slightly elevated. I was told that her temp would be higher than normal due to the shots she had. I wasn't concerned. I just kept cuddling with her until I put her down for the night.

Meadow was in a cuddley mood too. After the first time Lily puked on me, I had an opportunity to shower. While I was in the shower I stopped hearing Meadow playing around. I got dressed, and came into the living room to check things out. To my amazement, Meadow had fallen asleep in Chris's arms. She looked so peaceful and cute. I would have taken a picture, but my camera wasn't immediately available. For the remainder of the day Meadow took every opportunity she could to cuddle with Chris or me. It was such a nice day, and before I knew it--it was 6 PM.

Doctor Appointments a Lesson Learned

2007-10-19T21:08:00.000-06:00

So, I made tandem Doctor appointments fir Lily and I. Even better I thought it was great that I could get in at 4 on a Friday.

Lily's check up went well. She has a boogery eye. The doctor just said to massae it with a warm clothe. She is 10 pounds and 22" long. She is growing really well. A couple of weeks ago Chris though she would surpass Meadow in height. In comparing stats I think he is right.

Then I had my post pardom check up. The doctor found a lump on my thyroid. I was so distracted with that--that I forgot to bring up other concerns I wanted to discuss with him. Since I was the last appointment of the day there was no one available to evaluate my blood work up or schedule the appointment for the ultrasound to check my thyroid.

I forgot to ask when he needs to see Lily again. And, the nurse didn't fill out Lily's immunization chart out for daycare. I even gave it to her. Ugh. So, now I am going to have to wait until he calls with my results on Monday. I am sure I will have to see him again in the near future to talk about my thyroid results.

Much needed updates

2007-10-15T20:24:00.000-06:00

Last Wednesday I went back to work. The transistion has been tough--very emotional. It was worse the second time around, and I had a short week. There are a lot of new faces and changes that occurred while I was gone. It is VERY hard getting back into the swing of things.

I took Meadow in for a check up (she needed a shot). She is up to 23 pounds. They said she was 31", but she was standing funny (I think she may be closer to 32). And the doctor did not force the chicken pox vaccine on her. He actually doesn't push it. She has been really crabby lately and we found the reason why at the appt. She is cutting molars. I got her a real tooth brush. She doesn't seem to mind me brushing her teeth. I tried to give her the brush, but she didn't want it. I think it is odd, because she likes to brush her hair and everyone else's (lily included). Tonight I did get her to "brush" her teeth after I did them. She really liked it, and I had to take the tooth brush away from her.

Lily is doing well in childcare. Friday we go in for a well baby check up. I will try to update after that. She has started "talking". It is so cure. She likes to hold conversations with the mobile when she wakes up. It is so cute. She isn't as smiley as Meadow was.

We are having issues with Lily bonding with Chris. She will only tolerate him for so long and then will break out in a cry. I had to work a little late tonight, so Chris picked up the kids. The whole time he had Lily she cried. She didn't even stop crying to drink her 2 ounces of EBM. Any suggestions would be great. We are all frustrated.

It Was a Good Week End

2007-10-02T21:13:00.000-06:00

Since her birth Lily has perferred my exclusive company. DH tried last week to have alone time with Lily, and she cried the whole time. This week end we went to my in laws. DH and I were able to have a date night as my in laws offered to babysit.

Lily cried most of the time we were gone--until she fell asleep. In research I have done I found out crying peaks around 6 weeks. Tomorrow she turns 7 weeks. Today, there were several occasions where I could put her in her swing and she was content. She even hung out with DH for about 30 minutes (until she filled her pants and realized she was hungry). DH thinks it is a HUGE milestone. Especially since DH says all Lil does is cry. Really the only times she cried today was when she was hungry or had full pants.

WOHOO SUCCESS!

Hopefully the childcare provider will have success with giving her a bottle. She is so used to me being her food source. I afraid she will just suck down the bottles. I hope she is content with 1 ounce an hour while I am at work.

Lily Milestone Captured 9/20

2007-09-26T20:46:00.000-06:00

Lily is so alert when she is awake. She is really good at holding her head up and looking around. Here are some pictures I caught of her.

Smile

2007-09-22T21:27:00.000-06:00

Today, I got to witness Lily purposefully smiling. After Meadow got to enjoy the indoor water park, I was holding Lily in my arms while we decided what to do next. I was staring down at her smiling, and she smiled back. I know it was not gas or an involuntery movement, because it lasted more than a few seconds.

When she smiled I saw that she has more features of DH than Meadow does. I wish I could have gotten a picture of that too.

Road Trip

2007-09-22T21:10:00.000-06:00

This morning DH woke up and thought we should take a day trip. We went to the Dells, and let Meadow enjoy the afternoon at an indoor waterpark. She was having so much fun she kept giving DH hugs. I didn't get to participate in the fun, as my c-section wound isn't fully healed. He took her down the kiddie slides and under the sprinkler thingies. The pool was shallow enough for her to walk around on her own.

I don't have any pictures to share, because I forgot my camera at home and cell phone in the car. I actually enjoyed watching DH and Meadow enjoying themselves in the kiddie water park. The place we went had two kiddie water park areas. We went to both. I did wade around in the pools while holding Lily. Afterall, DH had to pay for me to enter too, even if I wasn't going to participate.

On the way to the Dells Meadow got sick twice. I was really tempted to say we should turn around, but I think Meadow was car sick. I asked her if her belly was feeling better, she pointed to her belly, and threw up. Of course this seems to happen when there isn't a good place to stop for miles. In both occurances DH managed to pull over to gas stations with no place to change Meadow. Which is why I still believe he should pull over right away and just let me deal with it. I think I am going to stick a roll of paper towel in each vehicle. The way home was without incident, except for the 5 cars pulled over between the city I work in and the city we live in. It is extremely rare to even see a squad car there. Meadow fell asleep a couple miles from our exit, and that is the only picture I managed to take.

Missing details

2007-09-18T13:37:00.000-06:00

Last night I was holding Lily. I looked down at her saw her unvoluntary moments making her make all sorts of weird facial expressions. I realized how I missed documenting that with Meadow. With both girl it is so poetic to hold them in my arms and stare at them all night. I feel at peace with myself after nursing Lily in the middle of the night or right before bed, and look down at her as she dozes into a slumber. I remember the same feeling from doing the same with Meadow.

To Meadow

2007-09-08T17:11:00.001-06:00

Dear Meadow,

Today you are 14 months old. Everyday you amaze me. I love watching you grow and learn. Exploring your surroundings and learning what you can do. You try to see exactly what you are capable of. It is so intriquing. I think it is funny that you practice your new skills in your crib before and after you sleep.

You have been so helpful lately and a good big sister. You help pick up everything but your toys. Even now you are trying to help me type this. I have to keep hitting delete to get hid of the random numbers, letters, and symbols you keep adding. When Lily cries you show concern. You want to touch her, and sometimes are rough. You don't realize how rough you are. That is OK, we will help you. One day you will learn.

I think I am very fortunate to have two beautiful daughters. You both fill my heart up with so much love. I know I will enjoy seeing you both grow up. I want to savor every moment of it. I hope that Meadow and you will be best friends. I know you two will have tough times together--that is part of having a sibling.

I love you. I will always love you.

Love,
Momma

To Lily

2007-09-08T16:44:00.000-06:00

Dear Lily,

You have been in my life just over 3 weeks. You are so amazing to me. When we had you, you seemed so fragile to us. About a week ago, Daddy commented on how you didn't seem fragile anymore. A few days later you had a well baby check up and it confirmed that you grew and gained quite a bit of weight. Which confirmed that you lost some fragility.

Still to me you are precious and fragile. Very lovable and adorable. It amazes me how when we take you in public how people comment on how cute you are. I don't need the confirmation. I know you are cute. We have the same problem with your big sister, Meadow. I fear that I can't let Daddy out in public with you two.

I think I am very fortunate to have two beautiful daughters. You both fill my heart up with so much love. I know I will enjoy seeing you both grow up. I want to savor every moment of it. I hope that Meadow and you will be best friends. I know you two will have tough times together--that is part of having a sibling.

I love you. I will always love you.

Love,
Momma

Lily's First Well Baby Check Up

2007-09-05T18:23:00.001-06:00

We had Lily's well baby check up yesterday. I can't believe how much she has grown in three weeks. It took Meadow a long time to gain weight. Already Lily has gained a pound and grown 2". She weighed in at 7# 12 ounces and 20 inches long. I am so proud to know this time breast feeding is going good.

Advise from her daddy

2007-08-27T13:47:00.000-06:00

Last night Chris and Meadow were in the bathroom. Meadow sat on her potty. I thought she grabbed a magazine, so I peaked in to comment. Chris said to her, "Sometimes it helps to read."

Lily's Birthing Story and More!

2007-08-25T20:02:00.001-06:00

Lily's Birthing story and first week and a half of life...
On Wednesday, August 15th, 2007 at 5:30 am I checked into Uplands Hills Hospital for the C-section to deliver Lily. I went to the Birthing first, where they hooked me up to monitors to check her heartbeat and for any contractions. They were looking for two accelerations and deccelerations in Lily's heartbeat. She acheived those pretty quick. Then, I went to Pre-Op where they hooked me up to an IV and asked questions to determine how much anestesia I would need. Soon after I went the operating room where I as prepped and received a spinal. The spinal did cause me have some naseau. At first it wasn't working properly so they had to get a different needle. At 8:03 the C-section started, and by 8:14 Lily Christine was born. The nurses had Chris come to watch her get cleaned off. He even cut her umbilicol cord.

They brought Lily over for me to see. She is so beautiful to me. I teared up immediately. It is so amazing how much love for her I had at that moment. They took Lily and Chris back to the Birthing Center, and wheeled me off to recovery. After I progressed satisfactorly, they brought me up to my room in the birthing center.

While I was in recovery they took the necessary vitals from my baby girl in our room in the birthing center. Chris and his mom where able to watch the whole time. Her APGAR scores were 8 and 9. She weighed 6 pounds 12 ounces and was 18 1/4" long. She developed jaundice and lost quite a bit of weight while in the hospital.
We were discharged on Sunday. I had to bring her into the hospital on Monday for a weight and jaundice check. Her weight was up two ounces to 6 pounds 11 ounces from discharge. Her jaundice improved. The nurse called our doctor, and he requested I bring her into the clinic on Thursday (8/23) for a weight check. I brought her in Thursday and her weight was 6 pounds 10 ounces. She is nursing like a champ.
At the hospital Meadow seemed mad at me. She didn't want to come by me, but she did a good job entertaining us. She got a kick out of the hair net thing Chris wore during the c-section. She eventually warmed up to me. While in the hospital she was curious by Lily, but we were cautious getting them too close together.

At home Meadow is still curiuos by Lily. She will give her a kiss on the head, but does try for the lips. I think it is so cute that she is being affectionate towards her little sister. She also wants to touch Lily, but ends up hitting her. I think she sees us patting the dogs, and is trying to do that to Lily. We try to catch her hand and get to nicely touch Lily. If she hears Lily cry, she will go stand by the Pack 'N Play until we get to her.

My mother in law came on 8/14 and stayed until 8/18. She kept Meadow during the night, so Chris could stay with me. He stayed until about bedtime, going home occasionally to let the dogs out. My father in law came on Saturday to meet Lily. My mom, brother, and brother's girlfriend came Sunday (8/19) and stayed until today. It was nice to have people come to help out. It was also stressful, because I didn't get any real good alone time with Chris. My sleep schedule isn't the same as his right now, because I am on schedule with Lily with breastfeeding.

Already Lily is scooting herself around the Pack 'N Play, lifting her head, and rolling from back to side and side to back.

8/25

When I was discharged from the hospital the doctor warned that Meadow may try to lift my shirt to try to nurse. Well, Lily was sleeping, so I was trying to get some playtime in with Meadow. I had her playing on Kneebouncers.com, she started getting rough with keyboard, so I put her down on the floor. She was upset. I tried to explain to her she had to be nice on the computer. She leaned into me. I seriously I thought she was going to give me a kiss, but she bit my boob. It really hurt. I screamed in pain. She looked shocked. I told her that she used to drink Momma's milk, and now it is Lily's turn. Let me back track. I am wearing an assymetrical dress that is easy to nurse in. So, Meadow's next move is to try to pull a boob out of my dress.

Procrastination

2007-08-08T20:42:00.001-06:00

To do list, ha ha...I have a whole bunch of stuff to do and no motivation to do it. Doesn't help that DH has the "flu". My choice is sitting here being unproductive.

What is on the to do list: Pick up Meadow's toys, Clean out Lily's crib, fold Mt. St. Laundry, put together the bassinet thingy, dishes, pick up our room, disenfect the entire house. I have e-mails to respond to...ACK! Non mes amies, I am not ignoring you, I am just lazy. Like I said my choice is sitting here. If you want to here from me, I need to be harrassed.

I am tired I need sleep so nothing is going to get done until we either move again or everyone learns to pick up after themselves...

Meadows vocabulary

2007-07-23T21:23:00.000-06:00

now includes:

Momma
Dadda
Dazie
No
Milk
Night Night (she will go into her room saying night night, night night... when she is ready for bed)
Yes

I think I have also heard her say Meadow...but I am not sure. With Night Night it took me awhile to figure out what she was saying.

Update on my deep thoughts

2007-07-23T21:12:00.000-06:00

Things are getting better--we have been keeping the communication lines open. It is still a struggle at times, but I feel we are making progress.

Chris has been receptive to what I have to say, and he is listening. He still interprets my words as nagging or yelling when I am not raising my voice or using a different tone.

He has been treated for depression before, and is reluctant to be treated again. After some research (that was easy to get) I found out that the treatments he had before had REALLY bad side effects. That was over 10 years ago. I think there are new methods out now that are better. I think there may be more natural ways to treat his depression.

I know my hormones will come to an end in a few weeks...

Deep Thoughts by April...

2007-07-15T21:15:00.000-06:00

Lately, I have been really troubled. Nothing is good enough for me. I can't seem to get happy...

Chris and I have had 3 conversations about it, and I feel like nothing gets resolved. He says he is willing to fix whatever is making me unhappy, but I don't know what it is...so how can I give him a solution when I really don't know what the problem is.

I have gotten to a point to where I don't really do anything anymore--outside of my house and my relationship with my family. Why? Because twice now I have said something and it got back to Chris out of context. It made me mad that Chris didn't try to figure out what I said and not defend me.

I really don't want to turn this into a Chris gripe, but maybe there are some underlying things that are getting to me. At this point in my pregnancy with Meadow he was so understanding and helpful. Now nothing. I have to beg him to do laundry and unload the dishwasher. These are two things I physically can't do. I can't reach to the bottom of the washer. I can't stand on anything to put dishes away. Bending over is another story. My center of balance is off.

I fell last week end, and now I am afraid it will happen again. What am I to do? Last week end I missed the last step going down to the basement, so now I refuse to go down there. Last week end I am glad that I was able to catch myself before I hit my belly hard. My right arm and leg took the brunt of the fall.

I guess while I am at it...one thing that really bothers me about Chris is he has let his hygeine go. He hasn't showered all week end. He wonders why I don't want to be close to him...he stinks. I tell him to shower and it is like he doesn't care. I gotta go...I have realized I have a whole bunch of stuff I need to talk to him about...

April News

2007-07-13T19:03:00.000-06:00

Because it has been so long since I have posted anything about myself. There have been a couple of developments in my life.

My pregnancy has been going well. As in pretty uneventful, which is good. DH and picked out a name awhile ago. We found out that the baby is a girl, and her name will be Lily Christine. It was a real painful. For days I was coming up with lists of names and DH kept rejecting everything. Finally he asked, "What would you name the baby if I weren't involved?" I said Lily. He actually thought about it and agreed to Lily. You cannot imagine how many times I brought the name up!

In the whole coming up with a name process I was also interviewing for a promotion. So, after 7 months of working in a challenging area of outerwear and cold weather accessories, I nailed the promotion and am now the Associate Technical Designer for Boys Knits. The process was painful, also. The previous time this position was open in a different area they only did one round of interviews, and a decision was made that week. With this opening, the managers and director met several times to hammer out a decision.

After a week of trying to come up with a decision they had it narrowed down from 5 candidates to 2. I had less than 24 hours to prepare for the 2nd interview which was a practical exercise in fit, which I was not comfortable doing. I didn't have much experience with. I must have done darn good because they offered me the job a couple of days later. They also restructured the area to help the other candidates gain better experience in the spots they were weak.

I have spent the past three weeks learning my new role and new area as well training the person to fill my shoes. Now we are working on trying to figure out what to do while I am on maternity leave.

It's been over a year

2007-07-13T18:47:00.000-06:00

It is so hard to believe that a year has passed since I had Meadow. It is hard to believe I am sitting here waiting for her to fall asleep. She is playing around in her crib and jibbering. I feel like she has accomplished so much. She is saying Dadda, Momma, Dazie, Night Night, milk, and then there are her favorite babbles.

Yesterday she had her one year check up. She got her MMR and Pnuemonia vaccine. She is in the 90th percentile for Height coming in at 30 1/4" and the 50th percentile for weight weighing in at 20# 4 oz. She wasn't sure about the doctor poking and probing at her. She kept looking at me and DH to see if what he was doing is OK.

Meadow's party was a success I think. I got the house clean enough. Every one seemed entertained. She enjoyed her cake. As soon as I can figure out how to get the video uploaded here I will post it.

More Milestones!

2007-06-03T20:51:00.000-06:00

So, all week I was frustrated that Meadow would not walk for me. Everyone from the daycares she goes to--to DH told me how good of a walker she is. What? She won't walk to me...Well, Friday she finally started walking when I am around. She really has to concentrate on what she is doing, but still it is a big accomplishment. She has also started climbing. That happened last week end. She climbed on a booster seat that was at grandma and grandpa's house. She also climbed up the stairs. I am aware she was doing it at daycare too, but we don't have many toys for her to climb on.

So, we ended up bringing home a chair, which she likes to stand on. It is made of plastic, so today DH decided to buy her a plush chair. We were afraid that she would fall off the plastic chair, because it is not so stable. She seems to like to lounge in her new chair though.

Also, her top two teeth have been giving her problems for about the past month. What was really frustrating is that we could see them about to break skin for a few weeks now. Today, one finally broke through. It must have happened last night, because it wasn't there when I put her to bed...so hopefully the next will make an appearance soon.

Meadow updates

2007-05-21T21:02:00.000-06:00

Words she can say: Dada, Mama (only used when she is mad), Dayday (for Dazie). She can wave bye bye, and shake her head no.

Tonight she walked a about a yard on her own. I had to pretend I wasn't watching. I have noticed if she knows I am watching she will drop to her knees and crawl to me.

She has been eating so much at meals. Tonight she ate a meatball, 1/2 a jar of broccoli, carrot and cheese baby food, plus a half a banana. I wonder where she is putting all the food.

Now, I am going to work on planning her b-day party...1 is coming up fast.

Tag...Your It

2007-05-11T20:22:00.000-06:00

In response to being tagged by Heather...here are 7 random facts about me.

1. I tried really hard to think of something random, then I realized it wouldn't be random if I thought about it?

2. I put new bedding on my bed today. By new I mean it has never been on a bed before.

3. Meadow isn't feeling well...I think it is teeth...I am having a hard time with it too.

4. I had an ultra sound 4/30. We couldn't tell the sex of the baby b/c it's legs were crossed. The doctor ordered another ultra sound to monitor the baby's growth for June 6th.

5. In college I was rarely in bed before 2, and now I am lucky to make it to 9.

6. When I was real young I bit through my tongue while playing on a trapezee bar at a campground. I got to eat ice cream the rest of the night. I have scar in the middle of my tongue from that, and having my tongue pierced.

7. I was going to say that I have never had stitches, but I remembered I had them 10 months ago from having Meadow.

Noticing new stuff of sorts

2007-05-11T17:50:00.000-06:00

I have some much needed blog catch up to do. Hopefully, I can get to it by the end of the week end...so that is my blog challenge to myself. First I will be participating in Heather's Wednesday Blog Challenge. This week's topic is to seek out something in your normal routine that you have not noticed before. This was difficult for me since my normal route to work in now detoured for construction. I couldn't really find anything profound. A couple of things though:

The outdoor tables at work only 1 does not have an umbrella. On a glorious day who wants to spend their lunch break under an umbrella when you have to be stuck inside the rest of the day?

There is a gas station in my town that all week has been $0.05 than the rest of the stations. Now that the rest of the station are at $3.19 that is a real important note.

They don't carry the really yummy brownies in the convenience store at work...just the cafeteria. Who has time to walk to the cafeteria when they want a snack when I work above the convenience store?

The USPS mailboxes through out the town I live in are brown not blue (except the one by the post office and the one on the main street).

I think that is about all the noticing I did this week.

Quirks

2007-04-18T19:27:00.000-06:00

I decided to participate in Heather's blog challenge. For this week she has challenged her readers to make a list of their quirks. I think I decided to do this one, because it is actually challenging for me. I actually have to think about what makes me quirky. I have to do this on my own, because there is no one to ask. I could ask DH, but his responses would be biased to his opinion. OK, so here it goes--deep breath:

1. I read all sorts of blogs and never comment.
2. I don't make my bed, because chances are I will sleep in it again.
3. I talk to my dogs like they are humans. Sometimes DH and I have respond for the dogs.
4. I waste a lot of time on the internet.
5. I wear my clothes several times before washing (this does not include undergarments).
6. I am obsessed with cleaning my ears. I had a bad blockage in junior high, and ever since I am determined to keep minimal wax in there.
7. I barely write in my own blog, but expect others to update theirs regularly.

I think 6 is enough for now.

Exciting Milestones

2007-04-16T21:03:00.000-06:00

Meadow took her first two steps while playing with her daddy and Grandpa Saturday, while Grandma and I were shopping. I completely missed it. Then on Sunday she took another two steps toward daddy again in going from our couch to him.

Tonight she said, "Mama". DH didn't believe that she said it, so he said, "Mama". She repeated, "Mama". I was so excited--I almost cried.

Meadow has...

2007-03-29T20:40:00.000-06:00

tooth #2! It must have come in either last night or today. It wasn't there at dinner last night. It is the left lower tooth.

She is also standing on her own for short periods of time. Once she made it for almost 30 seconds. I had to hold my breath to wait for her to do something. The something was she fell on her butt.

Out of the mouths of babes

2007-03-25T20:49:00.000-06:00

Meadow has become quite comical. I can't believe the things she is doing. I have two funny stories I want to share.

Meadow has started the "d" and "b" sound in her babbles. Anyway, last week she crawled to the baby gate while I was getting ready for work. She then pulled herself up, and started "talking". When I looked at her she was holding on to the gate with one hand and swinging the other like people who talk with thier hands. I thought it was so cute.

Friday night I had a friend over for dinner and game night. We put Meadow in her exersaucer to keep her out of trouble. To keep her from fussing DH gave her some Gerber puffs. He said to her, "Tell me when, " as he poured them onto her tray. When she had quite a bit, DH said, "when?", and Meadow shook her head "no." It was so funny.

Then, DH said, "What do you mean no?"

Meadow shook her head again, as to say, "No means no...I want more!"

The big announcement again

2007-03-25T20:44:00.000-06:00

I was trying to keep this secret until our family knew, but I am pregnant again. I am due the last week in August. So Meadow and baby #2 will be 14 months apart. I am really excited that they will be close in age. I feel so distant from my brother b/c he is almost 10 years younger than me. DH and his brother are 5 years apart and even as BIL has entered adulthood they still seem to be a different maturity levels. DH of course is insisting it is a boy. I am trying to plan incase it is a girl and he isn't budging.

Guess what Meadow has!?!?!

2007-03-02T20:38:00.000-06:00

This morning I looked in her mouth, and her bottom left tooth finally broke through! She has been struggling with teething for such a long time. She had the worst symptoms for a month. I felt so bad for my little peanut, but I was overjoyed when I saw the little bit of tooth poking up from her gum.

Public Service Announcement

2007-02-18T14:34:00.000-06:00

The lady who found our dogs said that she appreciated how well we had our dogs IDed. I want to stress to any pet owner how inexpensive and easy it is to make and ID tag for your dog. Most Wal*Marts have the machine near the check outs that makes them and it is under $5 for tags. They do have more expensive designs. Usually you can put up to 4 lines of information. Our dogs only have their name and each of our cell phone numbers on their ID tags.

Even if you have a cat it is important to make sure he/she has identification. When I was talking to my aunt about the ordeal, she said her cat got loose. She lives in an apartment complex. The cat was found across the street from the apartment complex.

Our dogs are also microchipped. Some of you may think it is unnatural. I think it is crucial if you have pets who go outside. There is an ID tag they get with the microchip. The ID tag has the 1-800 number for the recovery agency (our dogs have different agencies for their microchip) and an ID number. A lot of Humane Societies and Animal Shelters have scanners and will scan animals as they arrive. Some vet clinics even have policies where they scan all new patients. Each microchip cost under $30, and it is inserted between the shoulder blades. It is about the size of a grain of rice. Some agencies require a yearly fee, while others it is just a one time fee.

Dazie has the Companion Animal Recovery (CAR) microchip from AKC. Miischka has the HomeAgain microchip. The reason it is different is because of the vet that they got it at. It just depends on what the vet carries. If you want anymore information, let me know. Both are easy to update with information if you move.

Also make sure they have their current rabies tag. That has the dispensing vet's information on. Vets have records of which dog has which tag number. That has assisted a friend of mine when her dog was lost. They called the vet office and the vet office contacted her with the finder's information.

They are home safe and sound

2007-02-18T11:30:00.000-06:00

Just wanted to let you know the search is over. The dogs were found 5 miles from home. They were attracted to a house with dogs and horses. They are pretty pooped out and are sleeping in their normal sleeping places. Miischka does have cracked paws from the elements. She has a missing nail on her back right paw. Dazie is fine.

Thank you so much for your thoughts and well wishes!

24 1/2 hours later and stll no sign....

2007-02-18T07:44:00.000-06:00

I feel like some one ripped out my heart. At 4 am, I checked atound the house again...The treat pile was still untouched. I hate the look on Meadow's face. It does look like she lost her best friend. Her and Miischka were, I mean ARE, good buddies. It is very difficult to remain positive at this point in time. Last nighy I convinced myself that if Dazie got snagged, she would chew her leash off...afterall she did it with her Gentle Leader halter. I am hoping they are still together. I am praying like I have never prayed before. We are good puppy parents, help lead our girls back to us.

REWARD!!!!

2007-02-17T21:56:00.000-06:00

REWARD!!!!

My dogs ran away this morning. I called the sheriffs department and they said the girls were spotted South of town on the busy highway. Dazie has a blue collar on with a purple leash (and the collar did report that the dogs had a leash on), and Miischka just has on a purple collar. If you want to see my adorable dogs I have pics of them here. Dazie is the brown and white on, Miischka is the black and white one with her head in the water bowl.

At this point in time they have been missing 14 1/2 hours. My DH is out again looking for them. I have called vet clinics, the Humane Society, and Sheriff's department (several times).

I believe I have posted pics of the girls before. I will try to post some more if I can get them downloaded.

Why does this stuff happen to me?

2007-02-17T15:14:00.000-06:00

Last week FIL called and offered to babysit Meadow. Well, my car was leaking oil, so we couldn't get her to FIL's (2 hours away). This week end MIL offered to babysit Meadow so DH and I could celeberate a late Valentines Day. Guess what!?!?! both dogs ran away this morning. DH is out looking for them. To top it off, my great aunt passed away last week. Meadow also had a fever Thursday and Friday. It just doesn't seem like we have had good luck lately.

No

2007-02-11T11:23:00.000-06:00

You tell a child no to let them know they are doing something they shouldn't. With Meadow you catch her about to get into trouble and tell her "no" she starts crying. You would think it is the end of the world. Is this the start of a drama queen?

The other thing I wanted to document is that she always sucks her index and middle finger on her left hand. Sometimes she tries to cram more fingers in her mouth. I keep wanting to document this, but it is a part of everyday life.

This picture means the world to me

2007-02-02T19:42:00.000-06:00

Here is my papa and Meadow at Christmas:

I was walking by and he grabbed her from me. He even had a pile of gifts to open on his lap.

Come out come out where ever you are!

2007-02-02T17:50:00.000-06:00

So, of the blogs I read, three have been updated today (and one several times). I was going to post comments on some to ask what is going on....then I thought that is so hyprocritcal of my...because I couldn't remember my last post.

Meadow has had diarrhea for 2 days now. Today, she has had a problem with eating. Yesterday DH had issues trying to get her to eat. Today, she is hungry with a vengence. She wouldn't take any pedialyte for DH yesterday, but sucked it down for me today. Meadow did so good with it today, that I had to run to Wal*Mart to get more. The problem I have today with her is that she has only had 1 good nap. Normally she takes 2 good naps. The three mini naps she took today got disruppted by dogs. Only one of mine caused the problem (twice today), but the neighbor dog was howling all day while her owners where gone.

I can't wait to move.

Now that you have what I have been up to today, I want to see your update! Let me know how you all are doing!

Picture Update

2007-01-29T21:44:00.000-06:00

For some reason...I cannot download the pictures off my camera. My computer crashed and I have to re download all my programs. My photo software happens to be in the storage unit. No ETA on when I can retrieve that...

Do I look like my mommy?

2007-01-29T21:38:00.000-06:00

My first Christmas (approx 9 1/2 months old)

Meadow's first Christmas (approx 5 1/2 mos old)
Yes we are wearing the same dress!

Mamma's Girl

2007-01-28T21:07:00.000-06:00

For the past quite awhile Meadow has preferred me. It has now gotten to the point to she has to be able to see me at all times. If I leave the room she will cry or whine until I come back. I did figure one thing though. She tends to crawl towards me when she needs something, but she knows I will solve her issue rather quickly. DH tends to get discouraged when he can't figure what is wrong with her in a couple of tries.

Although, yesterday at swimming lessons she wouldn't let Chris get out of her sight. Next week he is getting in the pool with us. He wants to participate in the free time, but not the organized activity.

Here are some things she has accomplished so far:
Sitting alone unsupported...this includes getting into a sit position from laying down.
Army Crawl
Getting up on hands and knees--rocking back and forth
Knows that the buttons on certain toys will make them function.
Holding own bottle
Drinking out of a tippy cup
Giving Kisses
Laughing
Giggling
and tonight....we lowered her crib matterress. She seems to be sleeping well in it.

Conflicted-Advice please

2007-01-22T21:28:00.000-06:00

So, I have this friend at work who you either love her or hate her. When I first met her I didn't like her, but now that I have gotten to know her better I enjoy hanging out with her. She isn't from anywhere near the area we live now. Her fiance who she has been with for several years is back in the town where she went to college. She doesn't have a positive outlook currently, because of being away from the love of her life for an unknow period of time. So far they have been away from eachother for approximately 4 months.

Also, at work she isn't being used to her full potential. It is almost like her supervisors don't want to fully train her. They give her the same task to do day after day all day long. Then one of her supervisors went on maternity leave and didn't have her well prepared to handle the workload.

So, we get together at a local yarn shoppe for a yarn crafts (knitting or crocheting). Anyway, there was a request made by somebody for me to tell my friend to not talk so much at the get together. This person was mature enough to tell some one and have that some one tell my DH to tell me. Actually, the last time we went she didn't complain or say anything real negative. The only conversation she really lead was about the project she was working on. She was making a scarf for a friend and she wasn't sure how long to make it.

When DH told me this he said the person making the request described my friend by a physical feature and "the one that complains about work." If anything I was complaining about another coworker. I was really annoyed with another coworker, because she wastes a lot of my time. She needs a lot of hand holding.

My internal conflict is that I don't know if I should say something to the friend or not. I told DH that I thought it was real immature to think I would be the messenger. I did mention something today, because DH said he talked to a lady who worked at the yarn shoppe on Friday. The lady was telling him about the things we talked about and that it annoyed her. I thought it was directed toward me, because I led the conversation among my friends. What really upset me about this lady is she kept participating in the conversation. And we only talked about the issues at work for a few minutes. Then we talked about dogs, satellite radio, and stocks. Actually we spent most of the night talking about dogs.

Splash

2007-01-20T17:22:00.000-06:00

Today, Meadow started swimming lessons. She had such a good time. We started the class with walking in a circle singing action songs to help get the babies acclamated to the water. Then we worked on ways to hold the baby so they get accustom to kicking. During free time, Meadow chased a rubber duck. During the second session of free time we swam laps toward DH and then toward the other end of the shallow area. Meadow was laughing a lot of the time. We can't wait until next week! We even talked about going swimming as a family this week.

Happy 6 mos Meadow

2007-01-08T19:58:00.000-06:00

To my baby, Meadow with all the love in my heart. I love holding you in my arms, looking at your smile, watching you grow and learn, and spending every minute I can with you. Thank you for a wonderful six months of my life. I hope to leave the love in your heart that you left in mine.

We are all sick

2006-12-31T21:01:00.000-06:00

I read blogs today of people who were reflecting on 2006. I wish I could do that. My mind is so foggy, because of this miserable cold I have. I was nice enough to share it with Meadow and DH. Yesterday and today I spent a few hours in bed cuddling with Meadow. Dazie joined us too. DH checked on us at one point yesterday, and told me we looked so cute. The three of us were zonked out.

P.S.

2006-12-25T22:22:00.000-06:00

I forgot another special moment my family got to share:

Papa had gone through a box of photos he had found at his house. He had brought some from the early 80's. I couldn't believe how young my grandfather looked in 1980. It was interesting to find out that I remembered what the old wall paper in the kitchen looked like, the feeling of comfort seeing Papa's old recliner brought me (He has had a few since then, but it was the nostalgia that matters most).

I wish I would have asked Papa if I could borrow the pictures until I could get them scanned in, then I could make copies for everybody. There was one of me when I was two, at my cousin's first birthday, I had two cups in my hand, and was trying to drink out of them at once. It really made me laugh. Then there was one of me with Grandma's wig on. It's amazing how old memories can bring warmth to your heart.

Good times with Family

2006-12-25T21:55:00.000-06:00

We had a very busy week end. I would like to blog more about it, but there were a few special things that I would like to write about.

First, at DH's Grandma and Grandpa's it was the first time in 20 some years the entire family was there. DH's parents had a hard time making Christmas, because FIL worked retail. This time of year is always busy for him. For the DH's cousin was in the military, so he wasn't able to make family functions. Last year DH and I couldn't make it because we didn't have any time to take off work. I think that was very special to Gma and Gpa.

Second, it was the first year were most everybody had made a holiday on my mom's side of the family also. One of my cousin's was very fashionably late, but that is his personality. Mom said he showed up an hour after the last person left, and he was bummed that he didn't get to see me. Soemthing real dear to my heart happened. My papa was sitting in the recliner. I was holding Meadow, and walked by. He grabbed her from me, and said, "Lemme hold her." It was so cool watching him interact with her. They really seemed to enjoy eachother. This is the second time they met.

I thought this was cute too, but I missed the abosolute cutest picture. Maybe, my cousin's girlfriend caught it. This is their baby (who is about a week and a half younger than Meadow). Before I got the camera, he was trying to eat Meadow's feet. They are both teething. It was really cute watching them interact with eachother, now that they are a little older.

Procrastination Nation

2006-12-22T21:44:00.000-06:00

Hi, my name is April, and I am a procrastinator. I have put off cleaning our bedroom so long. I tried to start at it tonight, but Meadow is having a fussy night. This is her second night in a row, where she is having trouble sleeping. We are going to be with family for the week end. I have every one pakced, but me. Problem is I need to do more laundry (which is now DH's job.) He has a load that has been in the washer for the past two hours. I think I am going to have to cave and just do a load so I have something to wear over the week end.

Tonight we opened presents. We took many pictures. Meadow was fascinated with the paper. I really wish we would have opened presents earlier in the day so she would have been more intriqued by her new toys. Well we have three more Christmas's. I have a sneaking suspision she will be more interested in the paper rather than what is in the package.

Best Kept Secrets

2006-12-20T23:35:00.000-06:00

I keep thinking of things to blog. At the instant they thought pops in my head I think it is so profound. I make note of it, and by time I get home it lost it's sentiment. I really don't know how profound you will find this entry.

I have heard businesses use the phrase, "best kept secret." Now, if your in business and it is a secret, how long do you really think you will stay in business. There was a place I went to as a kid called Rainbow Falls. It was a small water park in Central Wisconsin. They had all sorts of merchandise that said, "Wisconsin's Best Kept Secret." I thought it was a great place to go, because I had better chance of going there than Noah's Ark in Wisconsin Dells. The last time I went was about 5 years ago. The last time I drove by the place (2 months ago) it was large car dealership. See what being a best kept secret led to the demise of the water park I enjoyed going too. Sure the slides weren't as fun as Noah's Ark, but the lines were a heck of a lot short.

Do you want to know about a good best kept secret? The always vacant women's bathroom on my floor. The women's bathroom closest to my office is often full. I had to go real bad the other day, so I trekked across the atrium to the other bathroom after realizing the one closest to me was full. To my pleasant surprise I found it vacant, very clean, larger, and it had a little vanity area. Then I realized the offices close to that bathroom are full of men. The original bathroom doesn't have the vanity area, because it was converted into a Mother's Room. It is equipped with everything a lactating mother could need to express milk (except certain equipment). And I wonder why my supply dried up...

Nightmare

2006-12-13T23:39:00.000-06:00

So, last night I had a nightmare. For some reason it is still haunting me. I know the parts that disturbed me would NEVER happen. I told DH about it this morning. I don't think he realized why I am so upset by it.

THE DREAM: These two friends of ours decided to remarried to each other (*Lucy and Bill*) after being able to work through their issues. DH and I lived in this beautiful historic house, and they wanted to get married there. At the rehearsal they played a video dedication for their friends and family. The video was interrupted with a scene from a pornography. I was convinced DH had something to do with inserted porn, so I tried to track him down. I couldn't find him or the bride and groom. After an extremely long time I found DH. I found out he had cheated on me with my mom. I was so furious. Then I found out the bride and groom were in on it too.

I am still bothered by the dream and DH's reaction to it. He said he would never cheat on me period. Subconsciously, I think I feel betrayed by him for with some of the things he does and says. There are times I bring it up and he finds a way to blame me. I blame him back. We bring up the past and other short comings.

What do you think.

I guess I am boring...and this got long

2006-12-13T23:05:00.000-06:00

Tonight I was catching up on message boards, blogs, and other websites of interest to me--when DH asked me why I kept looking at other ppl's houses. At that moment I was looking at Heather's packing accomplishment. I sarcastically said to get ideas on how to arrange our boxes. Currently our kitchen is full of full boxes, because living in this apartment is very temporary. Hopefully in March or April we will be able to buy another house...but that depends on various other things. DH inquired about the things I write about MYSELF on line. I said Meadows Milestones and some other thing not completely related to myself. I had to open my blog and look at it and find the last entry that was really about myself was when I took up crocheting a couple of weeks ago.

It brings me to the conclusion that once you become a wife and/or a mother, your life is really not about yourself anymore. My life seems to revolve around DH and my DD (darling daughter). The other day I was reading Kelly's blog entry with photojournal about how her life has changed since becoming a mother. I really thought I should do something similar. Take my camera with me for a day and document my life. I really wish I could do a compare and contrast, but that would require a trip around the U.S. I am not prepared to make.

I guess I really don't know what to write about myself, because I don't know what you may find as interesting. Another point is that I don't really think a lot of people read this. Even though I sent out links a long while ago. I remember distinctly that a friend of mine (Beautimous) complained when I didn't update my blog regularly. Now she doesn't have regular internet service.

Lately I have felt blah though. Really I don't know what I can equate it too. The fact that I can't fit into clothes that fit one year ago, S.A.D., being in limbo at work, adjusting to the MAJOR changes that have happened in my life. Last night was the first time in a long time that I worked out. The last time I attempted to work out I remember going to the Y just to have an excuse to shower there. DH had the bathroom tore apart to get rid of a mold issue we had. As an FYI the last time I had a YMCA membership was May 2005, so about a year and a half ago. Granted since then I have majorly moved twice, got married, had a baby, and had some major issues at work I guess I can't really blame myself for letting myself go.

See I admit it, I have let myself go. Something I vowed I would never do. Well, here is to getting myself back. As part of My New Adventure I will document the "me changes". I know I have somethings I need to work on, so I will try to use this as my sounding board.

Housekeeping skills
Physical fitness
Mental health
Nutritious eating
Not playing the blame game
Effectively communicating with DH
Truly finding myself
Creating and maintaining relationships

I can sit

2006-12-11T21:47:00.000-06:00

Yesterday, we realized Meadow can sit pretty well on her own. She can't sit for long, but it is definately a milestone in my book. She has gotten determined to hold her own bottle also. Last night DH was just holding her bottle, and she was sitting by herself sucking the bottle.

We also went to get pictures taken with Santa yesterday. I know it doesn't mean much to her yet. I can't wait to get he pictures back on Thursday. She smiled very well for the camera. I had her dressed in her Packer outfit, and Santa said that she must be a good girl if she is a Packer fan already.

Saturday, my friend gave Meadow her Exersaucer. It is an immediate hit, but Meadow has only managed to go backwards in it. Poor Miischka keeps gettting hit with it, because her favorite place to lay is in the path of the exersaucer...which only goes in circles. Meadow does know how to step sideways too and turn around in it....if we could only get her to go forward...it would save her some tears. She will realize she isn't close to me anymore and starts to cry. Our living room is so small she can't make a complete circle with it.

DH

2006-12-06T21:32:00.000-06:00

DH is horrible at giving me gifts for the ocassion it is meant for. This year, he hit a day after Thanksgiving sale. I knew he bought my gift. He told me it was hiding in the house. I was not a bit interested. I really wanted to wait until Christmas to open the gift he bought me. I was cleaning our bedroom. When he found out, he got me out of the room, put the gift in something less see through. The bag sat in the living room in the bag for two days. I could tell it was killing DH not giving me the gift. Well, the other day I let him give me, my gift--a new digital camera.

Here are a couple of pics I took with it...

I think Dazie was trying to cuddle with Meadow...

Meadow our future Packer cheerleader.

DH is such a wonderful father. He gets all the fun of being a parent at this stage. He will play with her and sing. When he sings to her she laughs so hard. She screeches when she does it. It is so funny. It makes me laugh. The funniest part is that DH doesn't always know the words to the song, so he will make them up. He sings off key purposely. I just can't help to laugh...neither can Meadow. I should try to get video of it.

Crocheting

2006-12-02T21:16:00.000-06:00

I decided to pick up a new hobby. Crocheting. There is a neat yarn shop in the area we moved to. On Thursday night there is a Knit Night. Some work associates and I decided to go this past week. It was a good time. I decided to make a scarf. I really don't have much done yet, but I know it is going to look awesome.

I am worried b/c DH works with the shop owners BF. She mentioned to DH that the crew I was with and I were giggly. The others at Knit Night were quiet. Hmmmm.... do I go alone next time, should I tell my collegues we need to be quiet, or not acknowledge the situtation...

Beach Babe

2006-12-02T21:13:00.000-06:00

This is from her first time at the beach almost a month ago.

I finally took the pictures off my camera.

I didn't want to, but I couldn't take it anymore

2006-12-02T20:38:00.000-06:00

With all the stress that came with starting my new job, my milk supply has ran out. I couldn't get Meadow to take the breast anymore. I tried to pump and only a small fraction of an ounce would come out. I stressed my self out about it. I sunk into a depression. It was horrible. I was irratible and irrational. I was hoping to go a year. I was upset with myself that I wasn't making enough milk for her anymore. After a couple of weeks I have come to terms with it.

On the week ends it was very difficult to breastfeed or pump as we got so busy. We were constantly doing something. Visiting family, moving, exploring the area. I regret it so much. I almost resented the week end.

In retrospec I could have handled things differently. I did get really shy breastfeeding in front of family. I didn't have any problem in public--full of strangers. I used to be the person who had no problem with my body...but psychologically I couldn't phathom whipping a twin out infront of DH's family. What was going on in my mind. I had issues in my family to. Mainly, it was because of the way one of my aunts asked me if I was still breastfeeding. I felt like in my head she was trying to come up with a reason to degrade me.

I think part of the reason I was so shy is that I didn't feel my family's support. Isn't that crazy? I didn't realize my FIL was breastfed until his mother told me. I know DH and BIL were breastfed. I had two aunts who breastfed, but no one seemed to be willing to offer the support I needed. DH just kept barking at me about pumping. Duh, I know I needed to pump to keep my supply up--but I am was so stressed out. When am I suposed to pump when I feel like I had to be the one to hold her and feed her. When she couldn't get milk out of either breast...what was I suposed to do. DH even critisized me for looking for online support--was I wrong in some way?

To DH breastfeeding was so important. I feel though, that he gave up on me too. He was never encouraging. He would just tell me how many ounces he needed for her while I was away. To him it was all a numbers game. I know he is upset that I blame him, and he doesn't think it was his fault, but c'mon I could have used the support and encouragement.

First Time Away

2006-11-25T22:00:00.000-06:00

I barely made it through the past two days. I had to work yesterday for 10 hours. I gave the babysitter the day off. When we left my in-laws on Friday night, we left Meadow. MIL said she would take Meadow for a couple of days. So, I could work. DH was suposed to work also, but he ended up getting the day off. They didn't have the items they needed for the project they were working on.

Thursday night on the way home we stopped in Mad Town for a couple of drinks and came home. So far so good. Although, I did have second thoughts all the way there. DH kept reassuring me. Then, we came home. Still no problems. I didn't have an issue until, I woke up Thursday morning and looked in Meadow's crib. She was not there. I got ready for work, still attracted to Meadow's room. Like I really thought she would aporate into her crib. Maybe, I thought I could do some sort of Jedi mind trick to get her back.

I made it through most of the day at work. MIL called to say she needed our insurance information. She wanted to take Meadow to the doctor. She was weazing while breathing. Otherwise, the she said that she was happy and eating well. I got her the information. She took her to an urgent care center to find out she has a virus. Meadow was prescribe a decongestant.

We met for dinner tonight, and I got my baby back. She looked at me like she didn't recognize me, or maybe she was mad at me. Really, I think it is just because she isn't feeling well. Just now she was fussing in her sleep. So, not like my girl.

What did we do with a night to ourselves. Really, not what I expected. We went out to dinner. We went to MP for a drink. Then we came home and called it an early night. I slept in for the first time in along time. I woke up feeling refreshed, but like something was missing. I couldn't wait to get out of the house. DH and I decided to go do some of our Christmas shopping. We got a good portion done.

Laughter

2006-11-19T15:08:00.000-06:00

I heard Meadow laugh for the first time today. She was fussing, so I got in her face. I tried to be is silly as I could be, and said "what's the matter?" She let out a big laugh. I think she only wanted attention. She has been that way all day. I wonder if she is starting to teeth... She wouldn't take a nap today on her own. We had to let her CIO (cry it out). It was painful for me. Luckily, DH and I had a U-haul to unload.

DH said he has heard Meadow actually laugh many times. She obviously thinks he is very funny. Sometimes all he has to do is look at her and she will shoot him a HUGE smile. I wish she would do that with me.

4 mos Dr appt

2006-11-15T21:33:00.000-06:00

Today, Meadow had her 4 month check up and vaccinations. She needs to keep vaccinations up because she goes to daycare while I am at work. She cried and cried for her shots. I had a hard time comforting her. She was fine once I put her in her car seat. Here were her stats:

Birth Weight: 7# 11oz
Current Weight: 11# 6oz (25th percentile)

Birth Length: 19 3/4"
Current Length: 24 1/4"

The doctor said she is very healthy. He even said she is a peanut.

A brag, some TMI, and something fun

2006-11-13T20:23:00.000-06:00

Meadow has reached some milestones (in my eyes) recently. She has gotten good at grabbing things. She started putting her hands on her bottle and "guiding" it to her mouth. Next we got to her briefly holding her own bottle in her mouth. Tonight she actually held it until she fell asleep.

Since we have started giving her food, her poop consistency has changed. It has gotten hard, and tonight her poop looked like an actual turd.

Now for the more interesting stuff. Meadow got to visit another state over the week end, and fly on an airplane. It was her grandpa's 60th birthday and her grandma threw a surprise party for him. So, we boarded a plane Saturday morning to go to Florida, and came back Sunday night. She did so well. People kept looking at us with disapproving looks. I could just see people thinking, "I hope I don't get stuck near the baby on the plane." Meadow was so good. She ate until she fell asleep. Then when we deplaned, people exclaimed, "You have such a good baby!" Now, think before you think...

Survey

2006-10-31T22:05:00.000-06:00

Thursday we are getting pictures done. I am not sure what to Meadow in. Here are some options:

Long sleeve white onesie with embroidered peter pan collar with light purple coverall. Coverall has small ruffle trim around neck, armholes, leg openings, and on two pocket patch pockets.

Same long sleeve onesie above and pink overalls.

White turtle neck long sleeve shirt with pink overalls

Pink velour jacket and pant with white onesie underneath.

What do you think?

I know you've missed me

2006-10-31T19:43:00.000-06:00

I have been with out e-mail for awhile. I am sure you would like an update, but I am not sure what to write.

My MIL found us a cozy 2 bedroom apartment with a full basement in the new town. We have what we need here to get by for the next six months (our lease length). The dogs miss having a yard to play in, and it has been difficult getting them to realize they can play in the basement. DH has made a play area for Meadow in our living room.

Meadow is getting better at sitting. She can't quite sit on her own. She has good control of her head. She got another cold last week that had us all very worried. DH took her to a doctor, which he really liked. He was very informative and perscribed Meadow some medicine that kicked the cold's butt! Prior to him taking her in, the babysitter called because she was scary unresponsive. The babysitter was was very fearful for her. She has also mastered rolling over (that just happened this past week end).

We started giving her cereal on the 17th. I couldn't keep up with how much she was eating, and we were supplementing with formula. I think my milk decrease due to the stress of moving and what not. She didn't quite get the spoon, so we gave her oatmeal in her bottle. Yesterday, DH decided to try pears with a spoon. We had some success. She seems to put her fingers in her mouth after eating to help suck the food down.

We like the new babysitter. Meadow seems worn out when she gets home, so I know she is getting a lot of playtime. The babysitter is good about keeping me updated.

DH hasn't found a job yet. Hopefully soon something will materialize. He's been good about get errands done though.

My job is going good. I hope I get through the 3 month period. I really like the company, my coworkers, my job. I haven't gotten to the point where I feel I am truly adding value to the team, but I feel productive. I am learning again...I feel challenged...I feel like I am getting my old self back. Maybe there is something to being close to home.

In retrospec living in SC hasn't been a complete loss to me. It was a good learning and growing expereince...about myself.

Off the subject: we got cable and internet today. We have way too many learning channels, and I know my chances of watching what I want are nill.

This is all I can post tonight. My eyelids are very heavy. Feel free to post some questions. Maybe that will motivate me to write more.

Can you see me shaking my head?

2006-10-08T06:30:00.000-06:00

Yesterday, I went shopping for new clothes for my new job. The dress code is different, and I don't have clothes for that dress code. Anyway, while trying on clothes Meadow pooped in her diaper. So, when I was finished I took her to the nearest bathroom. The family bathroom was locked. I went into the ladies bathroom, took her out of her stroller, and set her on the granite changing table. The bathroom was actually very nice. Anyway, I took out the wipes only to realize there is one wipe. Her poo went all the way up her back and chest. So, I used the disposable changing pad to finish cleaning her up. Then I grab for a diaper. There are no diapers in the diaper bag! I forgot to put more in. So, I use another disposable changing pad as a diaper.

I got back to the store. Summoned my friend to hurry up. We went to Babies R Us. I grabbed a pack of diapers and travel wipes. Then I grabbed some other things we will need during our move (hat for Meadow and a warm outerwear suit). Checked out went to the bathroom only to find the changing table there loaded with diapers. By this point she had peed.

We got home and started playing some board games. My friend realized we forgot to go to Petsmart. Which we both needed to do (her cats out of food, my dogs out of food). On the way home we stopped at Sonic. While we were waiting for our food Meadow starts crying so DH grabs her out of the carseat and starts changing her diaper. Guess what?!?! I didn't put any more diapers in the diaper bag! But I did put the travel wipes in the diaper bag after I used them at Babies R Us. So he had to use a burp rag.

You would think I would have learned after the first time to double check to make sure there are enough diapers in the diaper bag.

The post you have been waiting for

2006-10-03T02:47:00.000-06:00

I quit my job. I got hired on with a company closer to my family. The pros outweigh the cons. OK, out of the piece of paper I wrote them on there were only 2 cons...the page was filled with pros.

I couldn't handle me complaining about my job anymore. So, I fixed the problem. I got a new one. I am going to be starting in the next 2-3 weeks!

Busy Busy Busy

2006-09-23T20:04:00.000-06:00

Really, I have tons of stuff I have wanted to write about. Problem is I don't get much of a chance with working and taking care of Meadow. I wouldn't trade it though. I have so many pictures on my camera I NEED to download. I am hoping I will get a few minutes to do so tomorrow.

Meadow is "talking" more. She likes to use "gaaaaaaa" a lot. She always says it with a smile. Speaking of smiles, she has started to get dimples. I think she is going to be trouble for DH and I. She has such a cute smile. And I think her eyes are going to stay blue. Those are the two reasons I think she is going to be trouble for us. She really likes to engage in conversation with DH. Earlier tonight they were having a contest to see who could get the loudest. I don't know if Meadow has realized her voice capabilities yet.

Another reason I haven't been around much is that Meadow has had a bad cold. I took her to three different doctors before we were able to get her something to help her feel better. DH had a bacteria infection also the week before last. I had spent a week trying to get my family feeling better. Then my in-laws came for a visit. All in all things have been pretty busy for us.

I want my momma!

2006-09-06T18:38:00.000-06:00

Meadow only fusses when something is truly wrong. She was fussy the day she got her shots, but that is to be expected. The only other times we have heard her fuss are: empty belly, full diaper, or upset belly. Today, I when I picked her up at the babysitters, I could hear her screaming when I got close to the house. I walked in the door and they told me she was fussy the whole time she was there. They thought that is was out of character for her. I took her from the babysitter's arms and she was quiet almost right away. It was like she was saying, "I just want my momma!" It made me feel so good. I can't wait until she gives me those big open mouthed kisses. Thanks Candace for letting me know what I all have to look forward to!