My list of grievances

I feel like (insert very vulgar words here). My abs feel like I have been doing crunches and sit ups all night. Here is my list of grievances:
My abs are burning
my pelvis hurts
DH thinks my stomach feels rock hard
I feel like I am going to throw up or have a BM and can't do either
The receptionist at the doctor's office won't let me come in early today, because they are booked.
I have slept most the morning, and so have the dogs. I feel like going back.
My ribcage feels like it going to burst

I e-mailed the above list to my neighbor. She is at work, and has been a champ about making sure I am OK. Anyway, she called me back and told me I could very well be starting labor! Please let this be it!