Tonight I was catching up on message boards, blogs, and other websites of interest to me--when DH asked me why I kept looking at other ppl's houses. At that moment I was looking at Heather's packing accomplishment. I sarcastically said to get ideas on how to arrange our boxes. Currently our kitchen is full of full boxes, because living in this apartment is very temporary. Hopefully in March or April we will be able to buy another house...but that depends on various other things. DH inquired about the things I write about MYSELF on line. I said Meadows Milestones and some other thing not completely related to myself. I had to open my blog and look at it and find the last entry that was really about myself was when I took up crocheting a couple of weeks ago.
It brings me to the conclusion that once you become a wife and/or a mother, your life is really not about yourself anymore. My life seems to revolve around DH and my DD (darling daughter). The other day I was reading Kelly's blog entry with photojournal about how her life has changed since becoming a mother. I really thought I should do something similar. Take my camera with me for a day and document my life. I really wish I could do a compare and contrast, but that would require a trip around the U.S. I am not prepared to make.
I guess I really don't know what to write about myself, because I don't know what you may find as interesting. Another point is that I don't really think a lot of people read this. Even though I sent out links a long while ago. I remember distinctly that a friend of mine (Beautimous) complained when I didn't update my blog regularly. Now she doesn't have regular internet service.
Lately I have felt blah though. Really I don't know what I can equate it too. The fact that I can't fit into clothes that fit one year ago, S.A.D., being in limbo at work, adjusting to the MAJOR changes that have happened in my life. Last night was the first time in a long time that I worked out. The last time I attempted to work out I remember going to the Y just to have an excuse to shower there. DH had the bathroom tore apart to get rid of a mold issue we had. As an FYI the last time I had a YMCA membership was May 2005, so about a year and a half ago. Granted since then I have majorly moved twice, got married, had a baby, and had some major issues at work I guess I can't really blame myself for letting myself go.
See I admit it, I have let myself go. Something I vowed I would never do. Well, here is to getting myself back. As part of My New Adventure I will document the "me changes". I know I have somethings I need to work on, so I will try to use this as my sounding board.
Housekeeping skills
Physical fitness
Mental health
Nutritious eating
Not playing the blame game
Effectively communicating with DH
Truly finding myself
Creating and maintaining relationships
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2 comments:
April, I read your blog. Sorry that I don't comment much, but I don't always have time. If you are unhappy with yourself, go ahead and make some small goals so you can feel better - and get your self esteem back up. I know work, new baby, and everything else in our lives are hard to manage. I also feel that I don't really have a life to myself anymore, but I keep thinking it will get better once Peyton gets a bit older.
I'm still a reader!
You've gone through many changes, in such a short time, it was bound to happen that you would change too.
Being honest with yourself is a great start, and I love that you made a list and you are using your blog to be accountable. I look forward to hearing about your successes and everything else as you work on you!
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