Wednesday, December 13, 2006

Nightmare

So, last night I had a nightmare. For some reason it is still haunting me. I know the parts that disturbed me would NEVER happen. I told DH about it this morning. I don't think he realized why I am so upset by it.

THE DREAM: These two friends of ours decided to remarried to each other (*Lucy and Bill*) after being able to work through their issues. DH and I lived in this beautiful historic house, and they wanted to get married there. At the rehearsal they played a video dedication for their friends and family. The video was interrupted with a scene from a pornography. I was convinced DH had something to do with inserted porn, so I tried to track him down. I couldn't find him or the bride and groom. After an extremely long time I found DH. I found out he had cheated on me with my mom. I was so furious. Then I found out the bride and groom were in on it too.

I am still bothered by the dream and DH's reaction to it. He said he would never cheat on me period. Subconsciously, I think I feel betrayed by him for with some of the things he does and says. There are times I bring it up and he finds a way to blame me. I blame him back. We bring up the past and other short comings.

What do you think.

1 comment:

Natalie said...

If there are issues with your DH that are bothering you - try not to let them fester. That is something I have alot of trouble with. We have had a few issues that have come up during our marriage - and when I tried to hide my true feelings, everything eventually snowballed. You mentioned Porn, I don't know if this is an issue regularly, or if it was just in your dream. Lots of men have this problem, so alot of us women think it is okay - but if you don't feel okay with it, let him know. And maybe a counselor can help. We had a similar issue, and I had told him it hurt me many times, but until we were in with our christian counselor - he didn't realize how serious I was. We only went 2 times, but it really helped. And the blame game just sucks doesn't it. We all do that to some extent. Just try your hardest not to let your pride get in the way. Good Luck with everything..

And you don't have to publish this comment!!!