Pound For Pound Challenge Widget

Self Disappointment

I always figured it wasn't as bad to disappoint yourself as it is others. How come the disappointment I have caused myself is causing me so much pain? I can't look at myself, and I don't want to be me.

For weeks (and by weeks I mean months) I have tried to lose weight by eating better and exercise. It has gotten me no where. I go in for my physical. I think my thyroid is causing my body to hold onto fat. Nope, everything is normal. I don't know what normal is. I asked for them to send me the results. I should get them soon. He told the nurse to encourage me to exercise 20 minutes a day! Are you serious...20 minutes each day? That is all? That does not seem at all adequate to me.

The other part of the disappointment is he only did one of the four thyroid tests. I don't think that is sufficient. How do I advocate for myself to get the rest done when they don't think the rest are necessary, because this came in range?

I don't know what to do. I feel like I have been doing something wrong all a long. And now with winter here, exercise is going to get less attractive. I just can't believe I haven't gotten this right yet.

FINALLY!!!

Lily is finally walking. She still crawls around obstacles, but she can and will walk across a room. I am so excited for her! Woot Woot! Go Lily.

I will attempt to take a video of her, as it is so cute to watch her wobble as she walks.

P.T.

P.T. does not mean Physical Therapy or Part Time...it means Potty Training

DCP got a potty for the 3 kids over 3. She has them lined up in the kitchen area. Two days ago Meadow was the only one of the three to go potty. She got chocolate. Today Wendy put underwear on all three. Meadow had a little poop in her underwear this afternoon, and Wendy got her on the potty and she finished. The only time today she had a diaper on was during naptime. She got lots of chocolate today. I am so proud!

She went potty when we got home. Then she had an accident outside with CHris and wanted to put a diaper on. I tried to encourage her to put underwear back on.

She can't walk yet, but...

She can climb onto the coffee table!

2-3-5!

Last night the girls were taking a bath. When they were done, Meadowput all the toys away. As she puts them into the mesh bag, we countthem. She would put one in and I would say, "one". Then she wouldput the next three in saying, "two, three, five!" I told Chris whatshe did and so he was trying to get her to do one and four, but sheinsists on skipping over four. When we say four she looks at us likewe have three heads.

I guess the number of the day is two. I just tried counting with herand after every number I say she says two.

L&M Milestones

On August 16th, at her birthday party, Lily took her first step unassisted. We were opening presents when it happened. She was trying to go from me to a new toy! She took one step and realized she wasn't holding onto anything, then quick sat down.

She keeps doing this...or she will stand unassisted for several minutes and not walk. I am starting to get frustrated.

Meadow has started dressing and undressing herself. She has no problem putting bottoms on herself. Yesterday when she woke up from her nap, she had pulled a 3T shirt up around her waist. I have such a goofy girl!

Dear Lily

Dear Lily,
I feel so horrible I didn't have this ready on your birthday, and at the same time I am glad I waited. I don't feel rushed. I don't feel like I am going to forget anything important ;)

I love you so much. I love how in the first months of your life I was the only person you wanted to be with. I enjoyed watching you fall asleep nursing and your involuntery movements in your sleep. I loved whe you would look up at me with a mouthful of milk, smile, and it would all come out. I loved how snuggly you were whie you were nursing or sleeping. You good get as close to me as you could. I would not change it for anything!

You are so layed back and goofy. Your personality develops more and more everyday. You like to explore all the toys and figure them out. I love watching you try to figure our how things work. It is so easy to make you laugh. Just making a goofy face does it for you :)

I love how your first word was "Mamma." And, I feel bad that you didn't bond with dad right away. It took months for you to like dad. You figured you could like him, once he could start feeding you. You sometimes will go to him before me when you want something fills my heart with warmth.

Love,Mom

Lil' Lily, Lil' Peanut

It has been a year already. I haven't written my letter to Lily yet. Bad me. She is truly a peanut. We went to the zoo this week end and some one didn't believe me that she was a year. She is so tiny, and the nurse confirmed it today - 18 pounds 4 ounces, 28 1/4". The doctor said she is doing fine, and we are good parents - keep doing what you're doing! That is such a big compliment. I will have to write Lil's letter next.