Friday, February 19, 2010

Bliss, Anxious, Excited, and Nervous

For any of my FaceBook friends, you will see my status says, “anxious, excited, and nervous.” There are some responses from close family members cheering me on my new endeavor. I am confident that I will do a good job, but change always brings me a myriad of emotions.
I think I can add a positive emotion to the list. That is bliss. Bliss combined with excitement. This morning my inbox greeted me with an e-mail from my future boss. He said he is looks forward to working with me. He feels that I will be valuable to the organization. It made me so happy and excited to read such kind words about myself. My self esteem was pretty shattered when I left my last job. I feel that this job will have the reverse affect. After being in industry awhile, I think this change will be good for the future of my career.
I am anxious and nervous about the changes we are going through. Because, there is so many loose ends here Chris and the girls will stay here to tie them up. I will stay at my mom’s and commute in the meantime. We will see each other on the weekends. I can’t wait to be settled in. I really don’t like living in limbo from week to week. I am also nervous about not living up to my new company’s expectations. I hate letting people down.
I will miss dropping Meadow off at school. I dropped her off for the last time today. I love looking at the bulletin boards filled with projects. Right now they have one that says, “I have a gold medal in…” Each child made a gold medal that says what they are good at. Meadow’s says, “Helping Mommy”. It makes me melt. The other bulletin board has hearts on with why Jesus loves them. Meadow’s says, “Jesus loves me, because I am me, Meadow.” The teachers keep telling me how much they like having her in class, because she is so sweet. This morning really hit me hard with realizing I won’t get to see what Meadow accomplishes. She is so proud of the work she does in school.
I will also miss snuggling in bed with Lily in the mornings and her general goofiness. Today, she is walking around talking in her pirate voice.
Don’t worry, I will miss Chris too. I hate being away from him just as much as I hate being away from the girls.
There are many positives to this job. First, we will be able to live more comfortably. We will be closer to our family. I will feel comfortable finding someone to watch the girls so Chris and I can go on dates more often….

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