Wednesday, February 17, 2010

Turning down a new path

I am consumed by positive and negative emotions. I am on a path to bettering myself, my family, and hopefully our quality of life. I don’t have too many more days before I leave, and start the journey alone.
We are relocating for my job. I found it through When I read it I thought it was too good to be true. 1. It was in my field of study. 2. The company is closer to our families. 3. The pay is more than I was getting at my last job. 4. They needed someone ASAP.
The job isn’t what I have been doing for the past 6+ years, but it does interest me. After feeling like a failure in my last job, maybe it is time for a minor career change. I like to learn and grow. I hate feeling stagnant. Slightly off topic, but do have you ever felt stagnant somewhere even though you were still growing? Almost like you knew the ceiling wasn’t far away? In my situation, I felt like no matter what I did, it would be near impossible to break through the ceiling and move onto the next level.
It is difficult to muster up any motivation to pack, clean, and prepare. I find myself trying to spend time with my family or doing stuff to put off the inevitable. This morning I spent a good 15 minutes babying Lily…I am sure she didn’t mind at all.
This brings me onto another topic. Everything has happened so quickly, I am not quite sure how I feel living within an hour of where I grew up. I always thought it was a good place to be from…far from. In reality it is a great place to raise a family. I feel that way about this state in general. The education system is good. What if my family members don’t like it? I want the girls to have more opportunity than I did…I hope they get it. DH says he will like it, but I am not confident he will. I am not sure how much of my family he can take. Hopefully we can find a good balance.
I feel like I will fit in great with the company, but I feel insecure about their opinions of me. They seemed so welcoming when I was there. I just want them to like me, and for me to not let them down.
Maybe, I keep trying to think negative thoughts, because everything has worked out so seamlessly this far. There are a bunch of things that aren’t so smooth – but the interview process was too smooth…

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