Wednesday, August 30, 2006

Hopeless due to feeling stagnant

I love my family with all of my heart. From my immediate family, to my extended family, and to my friends in the Midwest. I miss them deeply—and it depresses me. What depresses me even more is my work situation. I feel so hopeless and stagnant there. It is like I am going no where. There seems to be no room for growth for me.

My boss does not try to develop us to be better employees or try to contribute more. I honestly believe she is intimidated by me, because I am goal oriented. She seems to pick on people. The work atmosphere is worse than the atmosphere at the high school I attended. She hasn’t attempted to pick on me since I have been back from maternity leave, but I am waiting for her to try. I have noticed she is picking on a coworker of mine. I really feel for the coworker, because for a long time I was the target of my bosses ridicule. There was and is no reason for it. This girl just wants to do a good job. She puts forth an honest effort. I have double checked her work and for her experience level she has done a very good job. I kind of think I was getting picked on and my coworker is currently getting picked on because my boss is lazy.

This is what I see in common: when I got done with a project, I would ask for a new one. My coworker does the same thing. My boss doesn’t have anything “ready” because she is busy doing personal work. She will give some mundane project, like go over other projects you did (like ones that are already being produced) and make sure everything you were supposed to do is done. Hello!!! It had to be complete in order for us to send it on to be produced. I know my coworker is extremely bored.

What then happens is the boss will find something to pick on her for. Like asking me a work related question. IE we were discussing a process and she would get told to stop talking. OK, I was on maternity leave for 6 weeks and a process changed. I was curious to the details I needed to know. Today, we got snipped being on break when she was on break. I was under the impression that we were allowed two breaks a day (not including lunch). Really, we just were introducing ourselves to the new person in our department.

For my family and friends in the Midwest: We (DH, my child, and I) need your prayers and wishes that I can get a job back in the general vicinity. I have talked to a recruiter for a company some time ago. Tonight, I applied for several jobs. I need to be happy, and let’s face it—this is the most miserable I have felt. I deserve to be happy. I have a loving husband and precious daughter. I shouldn’t have to feel like my work situation is wearing me down.

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